November Quote

"While you do what, go down with the ship?" -Cortana, Pillar of Autumn, Halo: Combat Evolved

The Death of Ayvlin

My horse screamed as it slammed into the tree trunk.  That’s what I get for galloping through the forest in the middle of the night I thought as we struck.  Then I was floating above the mangled heap that was my body, my horse and the tree.  The trunk was snapped in half, with shards of wood embedded through both me and the poor horse.  There were about a dozen armed men milling about, trying to decide what to do.  Finally the Count galloped back on his stallion, a slight frown marring his features.  He dropped the reigns from his left hand and used it to gracefully swing off his horse, counterbalancing with his legs to make up for his missing right limb.  He regarded my body coldly for a moment before barking orders.  My body was moved into a make-shift stretcher, which the count directed everyone to take back to his mansion.  Before turning to follow them, he looked directly at my floating self, giving me a cold smile and a nod before swinging back into his saddle and galloping off.

“Tis a fine mess you’ve made, daughter,” a voice wafted up from behind me, distracting me from the Count.  I turned and found a raven sitting in a tree above me.  It had pale blue eyes; eyes that were the splitting image of my own.  It was always so disconcerting to see those eyes staring out of a feathered face.  “This tree was young, and not yet ready to die.”

My hands were on my hips.  “At least that tree has peace. What of me?”

The bird dropped from the branch, transforming into a beautiful raven-haired woman.  I always found it disconcerting when she did that, mainly because in human form she looked so much like me; it was odd to see yourself transforming from a bird.  Whenever I saw her, my mind always made note of the little differences between us.  She was slightly shorter than me, but seemed much more imposing.  Her hair was somehow blacker than my own.  And her eyes were hardened from the millennia she had seen.  “What of you?”

“What do you call this?” I held up my hand, looking at her through it.  “Am I to be damned to some purgatory for killing the poor, defenceless tree?”

My hand flew to my mouth as the words hung in the air between us.   “I am sorry, mother.” I knelt before her.  “I deserve to be damned.  I have failed you and our people.”

She touched my cheek, drawing my gaze upwards to meet her smile.  “Nay, daughter, you are not damned.  I brought you here for a quick word.  Tis all.”

The mournful shriek of a hawk directed our gaze skyward.  Tam O’Shanter was circling, frantically searching the ground.  “AYVLIN!” he screamed before winging towards the mansion.

“He must be mighty vexed to lose you thus,” my mother smiled.  “Did you know, daughter, that his gift is to see spirits?”

“The Count saw me.  What am I if not a spirit?”

“What are you?”  She drew closer and raised her hand, running it gently down my cheek.  “Oh my daughter.  Would that I had seen how special you are sooner.”

“Special?  I am but a lowly half breed!  You yourself have told me this my whole life!  What possibly could have changed?” 

“This.”  She held out her hand, palm upwards, cradling a small house sparrow.  “Do you know what this is?”

I studied the little bird, which was shaking in her hand.  Its colouring was dull and brown, much like you would expect.  But its feathers had a slight blue shine to it. “I assume some sort of magical bird?”

Her laughter was a raven’s caw.  “No daughter.  Tis a piece of your mortal self.”  She threw the bird into the air where it flew upwards and vanished.  “It seems that when you die, you lose only a piece of your mortal self, leaving the Tuatha Dé to grow and strengthen.”

My mouth hung open at this pronouncement.  Here, after all the ridicule I had suffered growing up, was the answer to all my prayers.  “So if I die a few more times, I will no longer be human?”

“Yes.”  She frowned.  “And that’s why you must remain alive at all costs.”

“But mother, you know I -”

She waved away my protest.  “Tis your human blood that we need now.”

I scrunched closed my eyes in an attempt to avoid spilling any of the tears I knew were there.  “You still want me to complete my mission.”

“Of course, Ayvlin.  Only you can kill the demon.  But if your humanity dies, then like us you will be unable to touch him.”

A tear escaped.  All this time, I could have burned the mortal blight from my soul and been fully accepted by my mother’s people.  More importantly, I could have been whole.  There was nothing stopping me from killing my humanity and becoming Tuatha Dé as I had always wanted.  But what would be the point?  Doing so now would mean the death of everything I held dear.

I drew a deep, shuddering breath and opened my eyes to face her.  “Very well, mother.  I will do what you ask.”

*

Ayvlin drew a deep breath and gasped as pain wracked her entire body.  Her nose inhaled the sweet smell of incense wafting from nearby.  A stout little woman covered in blood was sitting next to her, bandage in hand.  Ayvlin recognized the woman as one of the Count’s nurses.

“She’ll live,” the nurse said over her shoulder, prompting several faces to materialize around Ayvlin, who couldn’t identify them.  The world was swimming back out of view.

“Ayvlin,” she heard one of the faces say to her.  “Thank God, we thought you were dead!”

“Now boys, she needs to rest,” the nurse ushered them back.  “That tree knocked the daylights out of her.  It’s a miracle she’s awake at all!  Come and visit her later!”

Ayvlin heard their footsteps withdraw as she sank back into unconsciousness, dreading what she would have to do when she woke back up.

Never shall you see them...

"Observation is important, the unobserved remains uncertain."

Never shall you see them, never shall you know.
They dance in the meadows, leave angels in the snow.
Blink and you shall miss her, as she capers to and fro
Never shall you see them, never shall you know

"Since the beginning of man we have sought to order and understand out world. And until today this process could not be completed because of the nature of the universe. The smallest of particles cannot be seen without affecting them, awareness of their state changes it, but makes it known."

Never shall you see them, the twinkle in an eye,
A reflection seen apon the lake, a flickered sunbeam from the sky
Deep below the ocean, when man will never pry
Never shall you see them, the twinkle in the eye

"There is a school of thought that holds that human thought and conciseness is a quantum state that is like the smallest of particles, uncertain and in flux. A mechanism that allow us to understand and contemplate a cat that is neither alive or dead - with all of the implicit ramifications, they have endeavoured to stop our final push to harness probability this way, for irrational reasons"

Never shall you see them, they run among the stars
Once they were so far away, the moon, venus and Mars!
Running in the darkness, they loose their place to hide
Never shall you see them, they run among the stars

"As we embark on this final frontier, we shall observe first hand the minute detail of uncertain events, we shall stop the long dice game with the universe and finally know everything, for certain. God help us."

Never shall you see them, the light and fire of mind
It blazes though the cosmos and catalogues all time
And in the rush for knowledge, we leave it all behind
Never shall you see them.

October Quote

"Their greatest asset is their greatest curse. They can never be seen." -The Doctor, Blink

Just One More Level

"Hello!" I called out as I walked into the house.  All I got was a vague grunt in reply.  I followed the sounds of laser gun battles to my girlfriend's room.  Sure enough, she was on her computer playing Star Guilds, the hot new MMORPG.  Her eyes never left the screen as I walked in.

"How's it going?" I asked, taking in the stack of dirty dishes beside her.  I was pretty sure the bottom few plates had been there last time I'd visited. 

I walked up and put my arms around her, giving her a kiss on the cheek.  This also afforded me the best view of her progress.  "You ready to go to the show?"

"Just one more level," she replied.  It was the only thing I'd heard from her over the last two weeks.  My eyes darted to her experience meter.  She had just leveled up; it would easily be several hours before she reached level 89.

I checked my watch.  "If we leave now, we'll still be able to make it before the movie starts."

No reaction beyond the now familiar furious clicking of mouse and keyboard. 

Coming to a decision, I sadly gave her one more kiss and let her go.  "Good bye, Jen."

All I got was another grunt as I walked out the door.

September Quote

"I fear the man of a single book." -Thomas Aquinas

She Shot Me!

“Wait here,” Daniel said, jumping out of their 4x4.  Drew watched his brother stalk up to the camp.  Daniel’s hand moved to the knife at his belt, a kind of nervous gesture Drew had seen since they’d moved to the camp permanently thanks to the zombies in town.

Somehow Daniel had known before almost everyone else had that zombies were appearing in Thunder Bay.  Daniel had picked Drew up from school that day, their truck loaded with gear and supplies.  He’d already alerted their friends about what was happening; if he hadn’t, most of them wouldn’t have made it out of the city alive.

It was his forethought that brought them out to this camp further down the road.  A girl Drew knew from school named Amber had had the same idea, making it out to her uncle’s camp when the zombies had appeared; her uncle had already been out here.  Drew wasn’t sure what had happened to the rest of her family, but he was guessing they hadn’t made it.  That’s why Daniel brought them here today: he wanted to ask the pair of them to move to their camp instead.  Everyone would be a lot safer in a group.  Plus then they could pool their resources together, giving everyone a better shot at survival.

Drew knew he was incredibly lucky to have his older brother looking out for him and the rest of their group.  Daniel had always been that ‘take charge’ sort of person, even before their parents had died.  If anyone would see them through a zombie apocalypse alive, it was definitely him.

Drew’s thoughts were interrupted by a gun shot.  He looked at the camp and saw his older brother staggering towards the truck, his knee a bloody ruin.  Drew jumped out of the truck and ran to help him.

“That bitch shot me!”

Daniel’s words made Drew pause.  He didn’t know Amber all that well.  But she’d struck him as an art nerd, always having her camera in hand.  Sure, the whole zombie thing had made everyone a bit crazy.  But he couldn’t believe she would shoot someone.  Especially someone who had come with an offer of help.

Before he knew it, he was heading towards the camp.

“Do you want to get yourself killed?” Daniel’s voice was a hiss.  “We can come back and get her once we take care of my knee!”

“Just a second,” Drew said.  He was at the door to the camp now.  He took a deep breath, then called out “I’m coming in, don’t shoot!”

He poked his head around the corner, expecting to see a gun levelled at his face.  Instead he saw Amber.  Tears streamed down her face.  She was sitting in a pool of blood.  Her uncle was down on the floor.  He had a knife protruding from his chest.  Daniel’s knife.  The shotgun was seemingly forgotten beside them.

“Don’t make her shoot you, too, son.”

Drew crouched beside the dying man.  “What happened?”

It was Amber who answered him.  “Your brother said we were coming with him.  Uncle declined.”

Her uncle gave a laugh which came out as more of a wheeze.  “He was going to take Amber anyway.”

Drew rocked back on his heels.  “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.” 

*

A little while later, Drew made his way back to the truck.  He tossed his brother’s knife lightly onto the dashboard.  “Here’s your knife back.”

“Did you get her?”

“What do you think?”

Drew backed the truck out of the camp’s driveway, knowing nothing would ever be the same.