"For them, the only honorable death is one that leaves a crater." -Bloodfire Dwarf
Monday, August 30, 2010
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Michelle Obama vs Necromancer Nixon
"First lady, I'm sorry I pimp slapped you into that china cabinet, but I had to be sure you weren't one of them." The man was apologetic
Michelle Obama flicked the safety back on the glock she had pointed at the man's head, silently vowing that if this one turned too she would not hesitate to shoot him in the face. "We have to get out of here - I need to stop Nixon."
"Nixon? What? He's dead. Like of the non-living just plain dead variety."
"That's what we thought too. It was a trick, it was all just another of his tricks. He faked his death. Or found a way to come back." If anyone could figure out a way to cheat death and return to the world of the living with an army of the undead at his command, it was former President Richard Milhous Nixon.
"Wait - where's your husband?"
There was an uneasy silence that filled the room. No real need to say what had happened. There were no words of solace to be found. "Can you fire a gun?"
"I know how."
"Good." The First Lady replied, tossing him her spare gun. She was loathe the relinquish it. A brief moment of sadness as she realized she couldn't remember the name of the secret service agent she'd taken it from, right before beheading him, setting fire to his body and sowing the corpse with salt. It didn't matter now. So many old friends gone. Nothing was like it was. Steeling herself to the task at hand, she remembered where she was and what needed to be done. "Because first we need to stop Vampire Biden from launching the nuclear weapons."
Before he could even decide on the proper response for that she chambered a round in pistol. "It's time for us to go." She added.
There was no response to be made. He followed. The only thing that mattered now was putting a stake through the heart of Vampire Joe Biden.
Truly, he could not think of anything he'd rather be doing.
Michelle Obama flicked the safety back on the glock she had pointed at the man's head, silently vowing that if this one turned too she would not hesitate to shoot him in the face. "We have to get out of here - I need to stop Nixon."
"Nixon? What? He's dead. Like of the non-living just plain dead variety."
"That's what we thought too. It was a trick, it was all just another of his tricks. He faked his death. Or found a way to come back." If anyone could figure out a way to cheat death and return to the world of the living with an army of the undead at his command, it was former President Richard Milhous Nixon.
"Wait - where's your husband?"
There was an uneasy silence that filled the room. No real need to say what had happened. There were no words of solace to be found. "Can you fire a gun?"
"I know how."
"Good." The First Lady replied, tossing him her spare gun. She was loathe the relinquish it. A brief moment of sadness as she realized she couldn't remember the name of the secret service agent she'd taken it from, right before beheading him, setting fire to his body and sowing the corpse with salt. It didn't matter now. So many old friends gone. Nothing was like it was. Steeling herself to the task at hand, she remembered where she was and what needed to be done. "Because first we need to stop Vampire Biden from launching the nuclear weapons."
Before he could even decide on the proper response for that she chambered a round in pistol. "It's time for us to go." She added.
There was no response to be made. He followed. The only thing that mattered now was putting a stake through the heart of Vampire Joe Biden.
Truly, he could not think of anything he'd rather be doing.
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