Its gone. Its all gone and I'm alone again. I pull my legs in tight, bury my face in my arms. I can feel the warmth of my legs against my chest, the icy cold of the void on my back, the horrible tight pain around my heart.
Alone I drift. I don't want to sleep. To dream. To see my love in my mind again, only to have him ripped away from my when I wake, wrenching open wounds anew. But I do, and it hurts.
Time passes. I have no way of knowing how much. But as it does, the pain and loss become a part of me. Slowly, reluctantly, I lift my head from my arms and stare into the void.
I try and remember the world as it was. The city, the streets, my home, my life. I try and return world as it was, but I can't. The skys are always dark. The cities grey and colorless. The people listless, empty husks.
Remeber the good times. Remember the love, the joy, the wonder. I force myself to see teh color. The sky will be blue. The night will come but dawn will follow. I make the world live again. But still, the people are husks. The spark that fuels the horrors and beauties of the world is gone. They are all as dead as I feel.
I let it all fade. I return to the comforting familiartity of the void, and remember. Our, my, wedding photos are before me. The are as brittle as burnt paper, falling to ash with the slightest touch, as fragile as my memories.
I remember our annaversary. I hold a frame in my hand. The once brilliant frame now rusted, tarnished, but the picture within is clear. We are together on the beach, the sun setting before us. I remember that night so clearly. The words he said. The truth of who he was, of what he suffered and why he chose the mortal coil.
I close my eyes, and remember words that were never said. I remember the things he wanted to say but couldn't. I remember the love he had lost. I remember the woman he lost so very long ago. I remember the loneliness and the suffering. I remember the eternities that he waited for her to return.
My eyes open to the void. I will find you again my love, but until that day I will be strong. With the surety of one who has seen eternity I speak into the void. Let there be light.